Tori spelling mne nravit.., p.1

Verruca Music, страница 1

 

Verruca Music
 

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Verruca Music


  Verruca Music

  Stuart Estell

  Copyright © 2011 Stuart Estell

  Cover design by Cody James

  The author asserts the moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

  All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  in memoriam Anton Newman

  "Keats and Yeats are on your side..."

  with love to/without whom:

  Michelle,

  Mum and Dad,

  Cathy, Charlie, Clarice, Emma F, Emma L,

  Gordon and Annie, Kev and Rachel, Liz,

  Lucy, Mark O'C, Mark P, Nicola, Seamus, Sharon

   

  special thanks to

  Cody James for the cover art

  Dan Holloway for being so encouraging

  All feet appearing in this work are fictitious.

  Any resemblance to real feet, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  ONE

  suppose one fallen morning i failed to arise from beneath the frayed blue duvet that was my shelter

  arms charged and electric with the needly shakiness of it all

  the mattress on the floor constituted resting place domicile and protector all in one to whit the floor felt as though it might open up but the mattress did not

  well and how do you suppose that the mattress prevented the floor from opening up

  the mattress prevented the floor from opening up by providing a squashy surface into which the heart might sink

  and god knows the heart did sink

  the heart sank the arms felt all needly and the restless feet went swish swish swish swish back and forth back and forth back and forth

  the feet went swish and the heart sank

  the heart sank and the feet went swish

  back and forth

  the nutrition was refused and the arms felt all needly swish swish

  well and how do you claim that the nutrition got consumed then

  the nutrition got consumed after a needly shaking arm poked itself out of the blue frayed duvet and reached out to grab the nutrition from the plate that was resting on the floor that might open up at any moment but was prevented from doing so by the mattress which provided a squashy surface into which the heart might sink

  and god knows the heart did sink

  swish swish

  by way of digression before the limits were imposed i was

  what

  more than i am now

  what

  swish swish back and forth went the feet needle needle went the arms this proceeded with the floor continuing to threaten to open up and the mattress fulfilling its comforting role

  i say comforting i mean really that it continued to be functional in the sense that it provided a squashy surface into which the heart might sink

  and god knows the heart did sink

  and also a comfortable domicile resting place and dare i say bedding

  i dare say

  what

  i dare say it was a comfortable resting place domicile and bedding

  well and how do you suppose i got to sleep then

  o i slept initially thanks to the generous intervention of chemical sedation and a comforting hand stationed outside the frayed blue duvet and set slightly apart from the squashy surface of the mattress that supported the body and being of me and prevented it from falling into the floor that might open up at any minute and

  what

  any road along the sedation was most effective and not unlike the warm immersion of a general anaesthetic or other miscellaneous opiate and very much unlike the strong drink to which i had previously become accustomed strong drink not being available at this juncture

  in fact

  what

  the sensation of the generous intervention of the chemical sedation provided by the generous hand of the medical fellow was not unlike

  what

  not unlike the comfy feeling of my body with all its extremities intact sinking into the squashy surface of the mattress that was my domicile and resting place albeit with the needly arms shaking and the feet going swish swish swish swish

  back and forth

  well and how long do you suppose the sleep achieved through the generous intervention of the chemical sedation lasted

  o not long enough

  no

  the black and bitter night came around with its alarming tremulous regularity and its flinty greeting of a screwdriver through the bonce

  note at this point the feet stop swishing

  the feet swish only in the morning

  at this juncture at any rate

  this is an important point to remember and observe and i may well test you on it later so do please pay attention young man

  the arms however remain needly and shaky

  as do in fact the legs which is something i have henceforth neglected to mention

  the legs and arms both needle and shake arms from the elbows legs from the hips

  elbow needle shake hip needle shake elbow elbow shake shake needle needle hip hip shake shake needle needle o it's a merry dance

  what

  o yes the black and tremulous night came around alarming regularity screwdriver bonce flinty et cetera and presented problems of entertainment for if the floor was about to open up any moment and the mattress that was domicile resting place and bedding was all that preventing a great big tumble and splat and the blue frayed duvet was protection from

  what

  just about anything that might present itself viz wild animals enormous fruit and other miscellaneous hallucinations not to mention the fearsome visions of a spectre i may or may not have once seen in a first floor room of a dark and dingy student house

  entertainment then posed a problem

  well and how do you suppose i solved the problem

  o i dare say i did not really solve the problem although i was able to hear recorded music of the most abstract sort in the old bonce and found that the most repetitive sort was the best sort as it allowed time for neither thought nor for the heart to sink

  and god knows the heart did sink

  counting provided relief in the middle of the dark and tremulous night but not of the ordinary kind no no not that in fact the fibonacci sequence was used to great effect although it became difficult to keep track once past the first few handfuls of steps one one two three five eight is all easy enough but god knows the trouble i had with getting as far as two thousand five hundred and eighty four in fact i venture to suggest that i may never have got there although i would like to think

  what

  god knows the number of times that the jolly old fibonacci got restarted you would think that i would get the hang of it but it was like something new each time this due to the generous intervention of the non-anaesthetic chemical sedation several hours previously one one two three five eight et cetera

  of course i could have used the traditional ovine sleep induction method but frankly the sheer effort required to imagine two thousand five hundred and eighty four sheep shambling over a rickety old gate was beyond the poor old bonce and enough to make the heart sink

  and god knows the heart did sink

  thus demonstrating that sheep and the fibonacci sequence are not comfortable bedfellows when taken in conjunction with the generous intervention of chemical sedation a blue frayed duvet and a squashy mattress that prevents the floor from opening up

&nbs
p; occasionally the arms would cease being needly and instead freeze as if in abject terror

  this admittedly novel sensation could hardly be classed as

  what

  as entertainment

  well and how do you suppose the night was passed when all entertainment failed

  o the night was passed in terror in the dark with a sinking heart and a dry mouth

  dry mouth

  yes dry mouth did i not mention the dry mouth

  pay attention young man i will be testing you on this later

  the dry mouth came with the frozen instead of needly arms which in turn tended to come with the general failure of all entertainment in the face of the floor that was about to open up et cetera

  of course i could have availed myself of a drink of some suitable liquid although to have done so would have involved leaving firstly the mattress purpose already described and blue frayed duvet purpose also already described meaning that the dry mouth once upon me remained for the duration until a generous helpful hand provided liquid relief at some unspecified future time

  i was convinced that i would never see the shed completed

  TWO

  having established that entertainment was required it became obvious that entertainment could take the form of tasks set by way of a things to do list to keep focus diverted away from the floor opening up
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