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  by Jamieson Wolf

  Breathless Press

  Calgary, Alberta


  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or

  persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


  Copyright© 2010 Jamieson Wolf

  ISBN: 978-1-926930-07-7

  Cover Artist: Justyn Perry

  Editor: Stephanie Parent

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations

  embodied in reviews.

  Breathless Press


  To the only You

  Or You who will come after

  Whoever You are

  Chapter One


  Daniel grinned at him. “Want to go again?’’

  Owen’s cock, which had been going soft, was hardening once more. He felt a flush tint his cheeks. ‘’Really?” His voice came out in a whisper.

  Daniel laughed and leaned forward to kiss him softly. “I’ve been waiting for years to get you naked. Do you think I’d stop things at a blow job?” He reached forward and began to stroke Owen’s dick. “No,” Daniel said. “I want more.”

  “What more do you want?” Owen almost added, You already have my heart. But he didn’t. As much as his fantasy had become a reality, he didn’t know what Daniel would say if he knew Owen loved him. Really loved him.

  “All of you,” Daniel said. “I want all of you.”

  Owen felt as if his breath had left him, as if his body were floating. “What did you say?”

  “Wait,” Daniel said. “Just wait. I’ll show you what I want.”

  Daniel lowered his mouth to Owen’s cock once more, taking Owen’s semihard dick into his mouth. Owen moaned softly, relishing the sensation of Daniel’s hot tongue on his dick.

  Owen’s cock, which had been hardening, was now fully aroused. It throbbed inside Daniel’s mouth as he worked the shaft, sliding his lips up and down Owen’s penis.

  When Daniel took his mouth away from his cock, Owen nearly whimpered. Daniel looked up at him and smiled. “Don’t worry,” he said. “You’re going to like this. That I promise you.”

  “What are you going to do?” Owen could barely think. His dick was so hard; it felt as if it were made of stone. He looked at Daniel, at the scattering of hair that covered his chest, leading down to his dick. It was rock hard and ready.

  “Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time,” Daniel said. Owen went to move, but Daniel held him in place. “No, stay there. Just lie there like that. You’re going to like this.” Daniel’s grin widened as he stood and placed a foot on either side of Owen and then lowered himself. He squatted over Owen’s cock, moving slowly downward. “I want you inside me. Are you ready?”

  Without waiting for an answer, Daniel took Owen’s dick inside of him in one smooth slide. He moaned as he slid down Owen’s cock, letting it enter his asshole all the way to the bottom of the shaft.

  Owen didn’t think he had ever experienced anything so incredible as this. He didn’t know if his body could take much more. He didn’t know how long he could withhold the words that rested on his tongue. I love you.

  Instead, Owen moaned as Daniel began to move up and down along the shaft of Owen’s cock. “God, you’re so hard,” Daniel said. “Do you like that? Do you like the feel of my ass?”

  “You’re so tight...” Owen’s voice came out low and hoarse, and his cock throbbed each time Daniel slid down the shaft, Daniel’s own cock slapping against Owen’s stomach.

  “I’m tight for you,” Daniel said. “It’s all for you. All for you.”

  Owen raised himself up on his elbows and kissed Daniel, let his tongue dart into his lover’s mouth to taste him. He moaned again, softly, when Daniel tasted him back, his tongue slipping into Owen’s mouth to explore.

  As Daniel continued to kiss him, Owen began moving, thrusting gently up, pushing his cock deeper and deeper into Daniel each time he slid down the shaft of Owen’s cock. Daniel moaned when Owen began to thrust into him, softly at first but then harder with each movement.

  Daniel deepened their kiss and wrapped his arms around Owen, pulling Owen’s mouth closer to his, as Owen continued to plunge into him. Soon, all that could be heard in the room was the slap of skin against skin and their own heavy breathing.

  While he continued to thrust up into Daniel’s asshole, Owen took hold of Daniel’s hard dick and began stroking it. He pulled the foreskin back and rubbed at the tip, wetting it with the precum there.

  Daniel moaned and pulled away from the kiss. “Harder.” He grunted. “Fuck me harder. Please...”

  Owen only nodded and placed one hand on either side of his lover’s waist. Each time he pushed his cock into Daniel, he would pull Daniel down the shaft of his dick, so that he was completely inside of him.

  “That’s it,” Daniel grunted. “Give me all of you—I want all of you.”

  When Owen thrust harder and harder into Daniel, Daniel took his cock in his hands and began to stroke it. “I’m so close,” he said. “So fucking close.”

  “Come for me,” Owen said. “I want to watch you come.”

  “Are you ready?” Daniel asked. “Do you want it?”

  “I want all of you,” Owen whispered. He increased his speed so that the slap of skin punctuated their moans. Daniel’s asshole began to expand and contract around the shaft of his cock, and Owen knew that his friend, his lover, was close.

  His suspicions were confirmed when Daniel moaned louder than he had before. “I’m going to come,” he said. “Come with me, come inside me.”

  Owen nodded and felt Daniel’s body shudder. Daniel came in a shower of cum that covered his body like droplets of rain. He tasted some on his lips, tasted Daniel on his tongue.

  Daniel looked down at him, cum still spurting out of the tip of his dick. “I love you,” Daniel whispered.

  “I love you too,” Owen said.

  With those words, he came in hot spurts that filled Daniel’s asshole to the point of overflowing. Owen’s cum dripped down the shaft of his dick, Daniel’s asshole still contracting around his penis.

  “I love you too,” Owen said again. “I love you.”

  When they were both spent, Daniel raised himself slowly off Owen and lay down beside him on the couch. They were both still sticky with cum and sweat, but right then it didn’t matter.

  What mattered was that they had each other.

  Chapter Two


  The smoke passed between them instead of words.

  Owen watched it as it rose above them. He had often wondered if it was possible for silences to say anything at all. Now he knew that silence could say a lot.

  Owen wished that the silence itself would be silent. He wanted to scream into the void and fill it up, to get rid of the rage that consumed him.

  But he did none of those things.

  Instead, he sat quietly and took another drag of his cigarette. Owen watched even now as the smoke from the tip of his cigarette swirled around Daniel’s head.

  The smoke is like our word bubbles, Owen thought. Instead of solid circles to speak into, we’re left with only fog. He took another drag off his cigarette. God, I need a drink.

  Though he knew it wouldn’t fix anything, Owen rose to pour himself a drink. He knew he’d been boozing it up a lot lately. He’d even begun to refer to his habit as self-medicating.

  He wasn
t fooling anybody. Owen was aware of this. He kept putting up a strong front, but he was breaking inside. He took a bottle of beer out of the fridge and didn’t bother with a glass.

  He was thankful that his parents weren’t home, that they had gone on ahead to the dorm room. Owen shuddered. His dorm room. He was traveling to the nearby college, one hour away from Daniel.

  He didn’t want to go to college. In fact, he loathed the idea, but he supposed it had to be done. He tried to think of it as a rite of passage. Owen supposed that what was now between him and Daniel was another sort of passage too.

  Daniel motioned at the bottle. “Too much of that is bad for you, you know.”

  Owen shrugged. “Thanks for sharing.” He took a swig. “I’ll make sure to write that down.”

  Daniel’s spine stiffened. “Look, I know you’re not happy about this.”

  “Of course I’m not happy,” Owen said. “You want to stop dating so that your family and friends don’t know you’re gay.” Owen nodded and put the bottle down to butt out his cigarette. “Does that about sum it up?”

  Daniel tried to soften his words. “I didn’t say that we had to stop seeing each other. I just said that we should see other people.”

  “You want to see women,” Owen said. It wasn’t a question.

  “Yeah,” Daniel admitted. “But they won’t mean anything.”

  “You expect me to believe they’d just be dates?” Owen couldn’t believe he was being so blunt. “What am I to you, then?” He was beginning to sound like a bitchy ex already, but he was okay with that.

  Owen knew this would be the last time he’d see Daniel. Something had pulled him away from Owen. And Owen had no idea what it was. Well, actually, he had some idea.

  Daniel huffed and reached for a cigarette. “You know I love you. I just need to make sure my parents don’t find out, my friends.” He shook his head. “You’re not popular. You don’t understand the pressure I’m under.”

  The words cut like a knife through Owen. “So the past three months? What have they been to you?”

  “Something wonderful.” Daniel moved closer to Owen, reached out a hand to run it along Owen’s jawline. “And what we have won’t stop. You just won’t see me as often, that’s all.”

  Owen stepped back as if Daniel had slapped him. Owen had loved Daniel, had loved his best friend for so long that he’d never questioned it. But he had no idea who this new person was.

  His heart felt empty. “I don’t have anything left to give you,” Owen said. “I gave you everything.”

  Daniel said nothing to this, only took a drag off of his cigarette. “I really don’t get what the problem is here.” There was a rasp to Daniel’s words. Owen pictured his insides hardening into stone.

  “You can’t just love me at your convenience. I don’t want to sit around waiting for you to come by after a date with some floozy because you’re too much of a coward to tell your family what you are.”

  “Owen, we’re only eighteen. You keep talking like you want to be with me forever. We’re both going away to different colleges—you know we won’t see each other very often.” He butted out his cigarette. The smoke around him died, and Owen thought the ashes in the ashtray were like a period at the end of a sentence.

  Owen sighed. He had known what was between them couldn’t last. He had loved Daniel for so long, for so many years. Maybe this was where they parted from each other.

  “I hope you enjoy college,” Owen said. “Now please get out of my house.” He kept his back to Daniel. He didn’t want his friend to see him crying. His tongue felt thick, as if it were covered in glass.

  “Owen...” Daniel’s voice was a gentle purr.

  “Please,” Owen said. “Please go.”

  Owen listened as Daniel’s footsteps retreated along the kitchen floor. He heard the footsteps stop and somehow knew that Daniel was looking at him. Owen didn’t turn around.

  “I’ll call you,” Daniel said. “I’ll write.”

  But Owen knew, like the love Daniel had given him, his words were lies too. Owen knew this had been good-bye.

  He lit another cigarette and took a drag from his beer. It tasted like metal in his mouth. Pouring the beer down the drain, Owen sighed. “Shit.” Taking another drag, he let the smoke float around him, a wobbly halo in the light.

  Chapter Three


  Owen watched his parents’ car drive away. He felt only a small moment of trepidation and then allowed himself an instant of pure joy. He was alone and he was free. Sure, he was only an hour away from home, but still, it was pretty awesome.

  He’d even lucked out and gotten a single dorm room all to himself with no one else to bother him. Sure, he had to use the washrooms and showers across the hallway, but he could deal with that.


  A month later, Owen woke early and gathered his stuff for a shower, happy to be healing, happy to be feeling better in some way. As he’d suspected, he hadn’t heard from Daniel in over a month. He doubted that he would hear from Daniel ever again. And in some ways, Owen wondered if that was better. If all that remained between them were words in the past.

  Sighing, Owen crossed the hall to the showers and began to take off his clothes. He pushed the pain that coursed through him at Daniel’s memory deeper into himself. If he didn’t, he would never be able to get on with his life, with healing his heart.

  Stepping into the shower, Owen let the water wash over him. He imagined the water cleansing away the world as he had known it so he could confront the world that was to come.

  He began to soap his body, thinking of the lather rinsing away who he had been, revealing what he would become. It was just as Owen was beginning to soap up his cock that he sensed someone looking at him.

  The showers were open, no stalls or shower curtains to hide anything. The urinals were to the left of the showers. Owen wondered why building architects figured the men wouldn’t be shy about their bodies. He normally showered in a swimsuit, but he’d been in a rush this morning.

  He had wanted to cleanse away the dreams he’d had last night. He had wanted to start a new day fresh. Now, it looked as if he would start the new day hard as well.

  Looking up, Owen saw there was a man at the urinal, watching him shower. Owen supposed it was a boy, though he looked older, his face marked with laugh lines and wrinkles. Owen wondered if he was a brain or a jock.

  Taking another look at the man, Owen decided that it didn’t matter. The guy was gorgeous. He had a square face, his jaw covered in two or three days of stubble. The man’s hair was wet from the shower, and it covered his head in sharp, wet spikes.

  As Owen washed his cock, pulling back the foreskin, he let the jets of the water sluice over his hard shaft. The water hit the head of his dick, painful but pleasurable.

  The man played with his cock as Owen played with his. He watched the man’s cock hardening before his eyes. His chest was covered in a scattering of dark hair that flowed down the curves of his chest, the muscled plane of his stomach.

  Owen’s cock hardened when he looked at the other man’s dick. It had a large purple head and a thick, round shaft. It curved slightly to the right, and Owen wondered what it would be like to taste it, to have the man’s cock inside him.

  His heartbeat sped to a fast tempo when the man smiled, as if he sensed the invitation in Owen’s stare. He moved toward Owen, hard cock swaying with the flow of his walk.

  When he was there, right in front of him, Owen wondered why the water had gotten so hot. The man reached out and touched Owen, ran a finger along his jaw. “I think I’ve seen you before.”

  This close up, it was impossible not to recognize the man. He was in three of Owen’s journalism classes, and Owen had been having mental fantasies about Titan Stone for weeks now.

  Owen knew Titan lived on his dorm room floor. He would see him in the hallways or the central lounge where everyone watched television. But he hadn’t spoken to him yet.
r />   Until now.

  “I’m Owen.”

  Titan nodded. “I know who you are. You’re the Wolf.”

  Owen’s skin heated. “Yes.” His voice was a husky whisper. “I am.”

  “Are you on the prowl?”

  Owen laughed. “Isn’t that a little corny, coming from a journalism student?”

  Titan smiled. “Maybe.” He ran a finger along Owen’s lips. “But I can’t concentrate when I’m talking to a fucking hot guy.”

  When Titan leaned in, Owen almost wasn’t ready. He couldn’t believe that this was happening, that he could be broken one moment but on fire the next. Owen could smell sandalwood and something else, something musky. He wondered if this was Titan, if this was his scent. The scent that meant him.

  Owen drank it in along with the heat of the shower water as he kissed Titan back. He almost moaned as Titan slid his tongue into Owen’s mouth. He clutched at Titan, wrapping his arms around him.

  The skin under Owen’s hands was wet from the water, but strong, stretched over muscle. Titan deepened the kiss and reached out a hand, pinching Owen’s right nipple, twisting it even as his other hand took hold of Owen’s dick.

  “God, you’re nice and big,” Titan said, almost purring out the words. “Do I do that to you? Do you like to watch me jerk my dick?”

  Owen nodded and reached out his own hands. When he touched Titan’s skin, it felt surprisingly soft for holding in all that muscle. He let his fingers work down along Titan’s chest and stopped at his groin.

  I can’t believe I’m doing this, Owen thought. I can’t believe this is me. Heat slicked across his skin, and he leaned down for a kiss, stroking his hand along the shaft of Titan’s dick.

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